My Journey
I’m Cara Matsukane-Ho, owner of Matsu Love.
I’m a Professional Aunt, magical witch, and healer who moonlights as a Coach and Corporate Consultant.
I started Matsu Love to meld all of those parts of myself together into a beautiful methodology to empower women.
My journey to creating this business is defined by three main experiences which I’ve captured below. Thank you for your interest in my story.
First: I became Conscious. I woke up
I was sleep walking through life. I was often a victim of my circumstances, and didn’t do much self-reflecting outside of worrying about what others thought of me. I was very judgemental of others and often labeled individuals and groups of people without much thought at all. I numbed myself so that I didn’t have to feel “negative” emotions with alcohol, food, and external achievement. I projected a version of self that I thought other people wanted, and it left me feeling really insecure and ungrounded because that changed depending on who I was with. In July 2014, I confronted my alcoholism and got sober.
After getting sober, I started to notice how things made me feel - both physically and emotionally. I got reconnected to whole food and started to feel good in my body and have boundaries - choosing things that felt good and avoiding things that felt bad. I started to understand my own psychology and how human beings work. Perhaps most significantly, I started to understand, unpack and heal the experiences of my child-self, and I discovered that navigating the confusing and painful landscape of what it is to be a human being in today’s society was difficult for everyone, not just me.
I had several profound spiritual experiences. I got connected to a Higher Power in big ways and small, daily ways, and started to trust God and relinquish control of my own life to the flow of the universe. I learned to live with the discomfort of less certainty, and surrendered more to what is. I had a few peak experiences (some may call it moments of enlightenment) where I saw the world, people, and myself as absolutely perfect as they are. These were moments of pure presence where time stood still. I was filled with a love so deep, profound, and ineffable that I wept at the power of it. Although I am not connected to that experience all the time, it has forever altered my perspective and experience of life.
I quit my job in the corporate world and pursued my passions. This included food and cooking, (I became a professional cook for a few years in a health food kitchen in Boulder, CO.) personal development, and empowering others to live a conscious, loving, and purposeful life.
Second: I became an Aunt
I LOVE being an aunt. Prior to my first nephew being born, I was pretty disinterested in children - mostly because I was intimidated by them. I was afraid of their rejection, so I just didn’t engage with them. When I became an aunt, I got SO intrigued by children. I learned I was good with them, and what made me good with them was all the inner work I was doing to heal and expand my self-expression beyond past patterns.
I found I had a passion for teaching children the things that I had to learn in my late 20s and early 30s: emotional regulation, self-soothing, boundaries and self-trust. I realized that how we raise children and create space for them to discover themselves has a significant impact on their adult life: their well-being, relationships and self-esteem. I also learned from children how to slow down, be playful, and not take life (or myself) too seriously.
I connected this important inner work with a brighter society - one where mature, healed, self-trusting adults could live and work together to create something beautiful. As I was doing my own inner child work, I could see the inner children in the people on the news - the people who were committing crimes, causing dissension in politics and leading companies and cultures from a place of fear and survival instead of love and abundance. I saw that impacting how children experience themselves and the adults around them meant impacting the society we create in the future.
Third: I wanted more than what society offered
I left a job that had me working 60-80 hours per week. Although the job was extremely purpose driven and felt very much like I was living my calling, I was suffering from panic attacks, adrenal fatigue, and overall mental and emotional unease. I felt like I was going crazy. I later learned that I was burnt out and giving too much of myself. This kind of self-sacrifice was a badge of honor that my colleagues wore and I wanted the badge. I spent a lot of time healing my body physically and healing the behavioral patterns and childhood wounds that got me into the position I had been in - working in a chaotic environment with no boundaries and taking on other (unhealthy) people’s perspectives as my own.
I noticed around me there were many other groups of people, especially women, who had similar patterns and experiences. A culture of people pleasing, achievement, and attachment issues was contributing to a lot of unwellness I saw in my friends and family members. I noticed this particularly with moms.
I realized that the way our current households, organizations, and societies are structured are not conducive to the wellness of our people. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: social patterns and norms are actively harming us. Women and caregivers particularly. I believe we all need community, support, space and time to heal and take care of ourselve. I believe if we do this important work together, we can create a different future for our society. That's why I created Matsu Love.
I have a particular interest in supporting women who are mothers or planning to be mothers, as I feel they are the most important resource our society has to turn the tides.