I hope you are navigating the pre-holiday overwhelm with as much grace and dignity as possible. I know it’s a tough time for women and moms since much of the planning, organizing, and social responsibility falls on your shoulders.

That’s why, this week I wanted to emphasize the importance of creating sacred space in your daily life - both in your physical home, and in your emotional, mental, and spiritual spaces as well.

I’ve been “working on” my own ritual / routine for my mornings for several years. And when I say working on, I mostly mean I’ve been thinking about it and considering it a good idea without taking any action around it.

About a month ago, I hired a coach to help me stay accountable and work towards my personal and business goals. Actually, If I’m being honest, one of the biggest reason I hired her was because I had an underlying feeling of being down and depressed for a couple of years that I just couldn’t shake. I tried several therapists, self-development courses, and spiritual programs - nothing was working. I was ready for a change.

One of the first things that she and I worked on was my morning routine - it was the one thing I saw that I could implement that would make a difference in how my overall mood, well-being, and sense of self could be shifted without much effort. I am happy to report that my depressed mood has completely lifted and I am feeling contentment and joy in my life for the first time since COVID. I want to share what I’ve done to cause that shift in myself so that you can get access to it too. It takes me 5 minutes, and it has been my saving grace!

Here are the simple steps I’ve taken to create Sacred Space as part of my daily routine:

Carve out physical space
Craft the ritual
Stack onto an existing habit

Step 1

CARVE OUT PHYSICAL SPACE

The first thing you want to do is carve out some space in your home that is for you. It can be the corner of a room, inside of a closet, in your office - just some small space that is going to be where you go to sit to create intentional sacred time for yourself.

Next, you’ll want to create a container for your space. It can be anything with some surface area - a small table, a box, a shelf, a trunk. At home, I use a decorative trunk next to my nightstand. (See photos below!) While traveling this week, I’ve used a shoebox at my mom’s house and am now using the bottom shelf of a secretary desk at my sister’s.

Finally, decorate your space. You want your space to be inspiring, calming, and beautiful. A space that you love. You can start with photographs, artwork, crystals, religious or spiritual items, candles, Palo Santo, sage, incense, etc. It doesn’t have to be perfect or elaborate, especially to start - simple is better than nothing.

The view from my meditation pillow - I am using the shelf of a corner lamp for my daily reflection books, meditation card decks, and spiritual oracle cards (They have uplifting messages). I have a framed photo that was a gift from a friend, crystals, sage, palo santo, a candle, my rosary, and a Tibetan singing bowl. I also keep my reflection journal here.

You don’t need a ton of space for this! You can see here, I have carved out a tiny corner of my bedroom just for me. I live in an 800 sq. ft. condo with my partner, so space is limited, but I didn’t let that be an obstacle. I love my little corner! It is a great visual reminder for me to sit down and spend time with my Higher Power and myself every morning.

Step 2

CRAFT YOUR RITUAL

The next step is to create a ritual that is meaningful to you. I like to keep things loose and allow my intuition and my mood to dictate what I do each morning, so I prefer to create a menu of items that CAN be included in my ritual, without the pressure to do them all every single morning. This really helps me, as a recovering perfectionist, to just sit down and spend SOME time at my altar, vs. thinking I have to spend a lot of time praying, meditating, journaling, etc. and then not sitting down at all because I feel too overwhelmed by it.

I typically spend 5-15 minutes sitting here, and I give myself space to be flexible. At the bare minimum, every morning I light a candle, read my Daily Reflection, and write a 1-sentence intention for my day. Usually, I keep it simple and ask God to guide my thoughts and actions and show me opportunities to be of service to others. Today, I wrote my intention down as “Give the gift of PRESENCE to everyone I interact with.”

I then have a menu of other items that I can choose from if I want to spend a little more time here in the mornings. Here are the items on my menu, and you can craft your own menu from whatever activities feel grounding or peaceful to you.

1) Mantra meditation (I took a class on this and loved it)
2) Guided meditations through Insight Timer
3) Pull a reflection / oracle card
4) Read from one of my daily reflection books and follow their reflection practice
5) Burn some sage or palo santo to cleanse my energy field (I love the smell of these smudge tools - they instantly pull me into sacredness)
6) Say a recited prayer (My favorites are the Prayer of St. Francis, the serenity prayer, or the 3rd step prayer from AA).
7) Listen to a gratitude practice on Insight Timer
8) Breath work (you can google a bunch of different styles of breath work or take a class)

Step 3

STACK ONTO AN EXISTING HABIT

When starting any new habit, it helps to add it to an already established habit. If you already have something that you don’t need to think consciously about doing in the mornings, you’ll want to habit-stack your morning ritual onto that.

It can be brushing your teeth, making a hot beverage, getting a glass of water - something you are already doing every single morning. Use that as your “flag” for sitting down for your ritual.

When I got started with my practice, I chose making a hot beverage. Whether it is warm lemon water, Rasa (a coffee alternative) or coffee, I always make a hot beverage in the morning. So the second I turn on the kettle, I am now thinking about my morning ritual.

You can use post-it notes or alarms in your phone to trigger your brain to think of your new ritual. This is a really helpful way to add new habits with the least amount of effort and resistance - you can read more about habit-stacking in the fantastic book, Atomic Habits.

Troubleshooting

WHEN YOU HAVE TROUBLE STARTING

If you feel overwhelmed before you get started, or you started on the above three steps and you’re still having trouble with this, I recommend taking one of the below steps.

Starting anything new can be daunting - our brains are hardwired to help us survive, which means they will not like anything that is new or unknown (it is not safe from a survival standpoint - the status quo is safer).

Especially if you are a mother with young ones, I understand that a morning ritual could seem out of reach.

Here are some things to keep in mind if you get stopped before you get started:

Remind yourself or create the WHY behind this new ritual. For me, it is about staying centered, and creating a day with intention. My mood, my energy, and my intentionality for my days has improved significantly with this practice. I feel more resilient, and better able to handle things. I feel less stressed, and more connected to the beauty of life. I can access love and joy more easily. These things are precious, and something I’m willing to fight for.
If you need support, find an accountability buddy like your partner or a friend. Hire a coach like I did. That was what really shifted things for me.
Do what works FOR YOU. If first thing in the morning isn’t accessible, do it when your child is napping or off at school. Find time in the evening after bedtime. Ask your partner to watch the kids for 10 minutes so that you can ground yourself before you get pulled into the swirl of your day.
Give yourself permission to do it imperfectly. What does success look like from where you are right now? Maybe it’s just sitting down for 15 seconds, putting your hand on your heart, and praying “guide me” and that’s it! Maybe it’s getting an app on your phone for a daily reflection and reading it while you’re breastfeeding. Start small - something that isn’t intimidating. Be consistent for a few weeks and then add more on. If you miss a day, get back on the horse. Progress, not perfection. What does progress look like for YOU?

Good luck!

Good luck creating your new ritual. I’d love to hear from you and support you as you start this - please feel free to email me and use me as your accountability buddy.

With everything that you’re dealing with - the stress, the overwhelm, the burnout, the lack of resourcing, the difficult world circumstances… there is nothing more important than connecting with a Higher Power each day to help you through daily challenges. It will make you feel better and it will give you the strength that you need to show up as your best self for your loved ones and yourself.

How I used Sacred Space to find my way out of depression